My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
