i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
