I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
