Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
"it" just moved
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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