I molested 6 butterflies tonight
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
