The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I want a musical about memes.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
