Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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