Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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