I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
