just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
