I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
