Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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