CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize