I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
