Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize