PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
