I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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