Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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