so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
