Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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