When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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