The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
