guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
