Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
