hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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