hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
this hospital has no fireball
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
