i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize