It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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