Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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