I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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