doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
