You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
