like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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