I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
