The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
