Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
