I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
