I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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