sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
