My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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