I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
