we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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