winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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