At least make sure they are 18
Why
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
