I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
