So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
