i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
