Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?

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(707): View more from California

My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.

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(760): View more from California

I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"

(760): View more from California

When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."

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(770): View more from Georgia

he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players

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(302): View more from Delaware

This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.

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(559): View more from California

Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.

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(585): View more from New York

I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next

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