it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
