so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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