$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
