Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
