perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
That accounts for only three of the penises
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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