We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
