He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
