I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
